Indeed, Atsushi isn't dying, but he dearly wishes he was. This is just too shameful, and the thought of what Dazai would say if he saw him like this is enough to give Atsushi waking nightmares.

No... No, Dazai is probably the only person who could forgive him for something like this. Even if he might slap him again and -...

Atsushi can't even tell if he's physically come again or if it's just something that happened in his mind, the perfume overdose clouding everything. But he does, at that point, seem to get some clarity back, and he sits up, not because Akutagawa told him to get up, but because lying on the ground like that was really painful (shut up!). He's a sad mess, even sitting, scratches and the remains of more serious wounds all over, his hair an even bigger mess than normal.

"Dazai-san... would forgive me." It's more than Atsushi deserves, but the knowledge gives him a little strength all the same. He could never have broken out of this by himself, but thinking about Dazai gives him a bit of backbone he sorely needs right now.

Not that he's doing anything but sitting on his knees with his head lowered, but hey, it's a start. Or something like that.