[ So it's we now, he thinks absently. Earlier, Carver thinks he would have snapped at her for presuming he'd go anywhere with her. Wandering off with a stranger is a good way to get dead and he's fought too long and too goddamn hard to get caught like that. Not when his people are relying on him to hold the line against all the dead on their doorstep and their enemies massing in the dark. Not when their brothers are dying and left unburied in the woods.
Now, it's hard to focus. He feels sick more than he feels good - take that, all the porn he's watched before the world ended - and he has the sinking feeling it's just going to get worse. That he's going to lose himself and wake up in an aftermath he doesn't recognize.
He gives Ducky a long look. She's a stranger, pretty much. Not one of his people. Not a soldier at all. She could have lied about everything since they started talking, have a knife she's hidden away that she'll use the moment they're out of the crowd. It's what people do, back home. They tear each other to pieces over scraps. It's what he would have done.
Thing is, his mind keeps stuttering out on the threat assessment. Getting caught on the line of her jaw instead of how she moves her hands. He's focusing on the wrong things. If she went for him now, Carver doesn't think he'd be able to dodge fast enough to land a retaliation.
His jaw works. ]
You should probably fuck off now. I'm losing my mind, a little bit.
[ He's done a lot of awful things in his life, but even in the war there were lines he never crossed. He maintained them in the aftermath. It felt important to have a code when the world ended. He doesn't force people. Never has. Doesn't want to start. And she's there, and it's been years since he's wanted to touch anyone like he wants to touch her now, and that isn't right.
Yeah. He's losing the thread now. Should probably bolt and hole up somewhere. Maybe take a cold shower or three. ]
no subject
Now, it's hard to focus. He feels sick more than he feels good - take that, all the porn he's watched before the world ended - and he has the sinking feeling it's just going to get worse. That he's going to lose himself and wake up in an aftermath he doesn't recognize.
He gives Ducky a long look. She's a stranger, pretty much. Not one of his people. Not a soldier at all. She could have lied about everything since they started talking, have a knife she's hidden away that she'll use the moment they're out of the crowd. It's what people do, back home. They tear each other to pieces over scraps. It's what he would have done.
Thing is, his mind keeps stuttering out on the threat assessment. Getting caught on the line of her jaw instead of how she moves her hands. He's focusing on the wrong things. If she went for him now, Carver doesn't think he'd be able to dodge fast enough to land a retaliation.
His jaw works. ]
You should probably fuck off now. I'm losing my mind, a little bit.
[ He's done a lot of awful things in his life, but even in the war there were lines he never crossed. He maintained them in the aftermath. It felt important to have a code when the world ended. He doesn't force people. Never has. Doesn't want to start. And she's there, and it's been years since he's wanted to touch anyone like he wants to touch her now, and that isn't right.
Yeah. He's losing the thread now. Should probably bolt and hole up somewhere. Maybe take a cold shower or three. ]