There's a thrum of vibration in him that sets his teeth on edge, similar to when others try to hold his hand or embrace him. The feeling of being trapped rises in him as he can see himself backing into a corner. He could try to shut this down, bail out. He's not even sure which part rises ill in him more: the fact Grayson had pressed his advantage or the fact Chris had invited him to.

His stomach swirls and he keeps carefully still in response to the cool calm of Hawke's reply. "Yes, I did."

There's a long pause, like he might just leave it there. He likely would have once.

"I was a little messed up on some of those mushrooms that sometimes grow in the wet times in the Down. I'd been gathering some for the theatre and got myself hit with them despite my caution. Made me more aggressive. I saw a handsome man and approached." He pauses, tongue sweeping along his lower lip while his eyes watched the swirl of his drink. "He was stronger than me, pinned me and I struggled. He...he offered to let me go if I asked it, but I said yes. Just...didn't agree to the rougher way he treated me. After, anyway. At the time, apparently, I pushed for it. So. It's...complicated." His mouth opens, Jon's name on the tip of his tongue to offer what Grayson did to him was far worse by Chris' estimation, but he bites it back.

Even beyond the fact Jon clearly disagreed, his business was not Chris' to spread, not even to Hawke.