Stede’s eyes are full of unshed tears by the time Ed is done—but he doesn’t turn away. And he doesn’t flinch, because he knows this story already. And it's all true. He’d set the dominoes all up in a nice, neat little row, then had kicked one with his heel and not bothered to stay and see the rest fall.

He’d thought, for a moment there on that dinghy, that perhaps he was more than the sum of his mistakes. Maybe he’d had some fairy tale notions that love would overcome all the terrible things he believed about himself. He’d been a fool to forget, even for a moment, that—

“I defile beautiful things,” he says softly, looking straight into Edward’s eyes. Badminton’s words come to him easily, like they’ve just been waiting for a chance to be spoken aloud. One tear slips then, and he’s quick to wipe it away with an almost impatient swipe of his hand.

“I thought I was protecting you,” he continues, voice louder now. “But I wasn’t, was I? There was no avoiding something like this happening. It was too late by the end. It was just a matter of when it would all go wrong. And it isn’t even just you paying for it now. The crew—”

He has to stop there, the enormity of it hitting him at once. He’d done this to Ed, who had taken it out on the crew—and it’s Stede’s fault. Ed isn’t blameless either, of course, but there’s no denying Stede was the catalyst.

"... their blood is on my hands as much as yours."