There's a weird complexity in Edward's feelings. He feels as pleased by seeing Stede cry the way he himself had as he feels gutted by those tears in such a way that he instinctively wants to protect Stede from the harm that's caused them. Of course, spite is a powerful feeling, but the love he still feels for Stede is stronger, he finds, begrudgingly.

"It's not--" he almost stops himself from walking it back, losing out to his better judgement by a hair, "I've always been a piece of shit, Stede. It was just a matter of time you'd find out."

God, he hates himself so fucking much.