"It's all entirely uncommon where I'm from, as well," Jon assures. "I'm Head Archivist for the Magnus Institute, a research organization dedicated to the esoteric and paranormal happenings of the world. Most don't take us very seriously, and a majority of what people come to talk to us about really isn't supernatural. As you say, creaky pipes, wild imaginations, substance abuse, mental illness, and people just having a laugh make up quite a few of the Statements we have."
Jon sniffs disapprovingly. "My predecessor didn't feel compelled to actually do much weeding out of the wheat from the chaff. It's two hundred years-worth of materials, though. The archive I have here is a bit more manageable and I've been able to do quality control and authentication as things come in, rather than trying to follow up decades or even centuries later."
He's clearly getting into it, because he rolls right along to Aziraphale's question. "Oh, there are all sorts of things here, it's really interesting. There was an account from a deaf gentleman who found himself moved to violent slaughter by string quartet that he was somehow able to 'hear,' as it were. He found himself the only survivor at a theater massacre when staying late one night. When he went back the next day to 'face the music,' as it were, for the crime, there weren't any bodies, though. Nothing. I did a bit of modest follow-up, though. There had been several instances of violent deaths in the vicinity of the theater days or weeks earlier with injuries matching those that he described in his Statement. Ah, and then there was a unicorn on the beach, eating people. That turned out to be some variety of kelpie with a fishing spear stuck in its head. One of my associates dispatched the creature to ensure it wouldn't kill anyone else."
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Jon sniffs disapprovingly. "My predecessor didn't feel compelled to actually do much weeding out of the wheat from the chaff. It's two hundred years-worth of materials, though. The archive I have here is a bit more manageable and I've been able to do quality control and authentication as things come in, rather than trying to follow up decades or even centuries later."
He's clearly getting into it, because he rolls right along to Aziraphale's question. "Oh, there are all sorts of things here, it's really interesting. There was an account from a deaf gentleman who found himself moved to violent slaughter by string quartet that he was somehow able to 'hear,' as it were. He found himself the only survivor at a theater massacre when staying late one night. When he went back the next day to 'face the music,' as it were, for the crime, there weren't any bodies, though. Nothing. I did a bit of modest follow-up, though. There had been several instances of violent deaths in the vicinity of the theater days or weeks earlier with injuries matching those that he described in his Statement. Ah, and then there was a unicorn on the beach, eating people. That turned out to be some variety of kelpie with a fishing spear stuck in its head. One of my associates dispatched the creature to ensure it wouldn't kill anyone else."