[Crowley mutters a quiet shut up, but it isn't anything like the reaction he had last time Aziraphale called him nice. That feels like centuries ago now, with how much has happened since he was standing in the halls of an old hospital, barely holding it together.
He's barely holding it together now, just for entirely different reasons.]
The boy, the antichrist, he decided he'd had enough of everyone telling him what to do with his power, so he just... stopped it. Told Satan to bugger off, basically, rewrote reality so that he wasn't Satan's son anymore and it sort of stalled the whole business. [He assumes there are going to be a million questions, so he decides to cover the basics and leave room for what Aziraphale decides to focus on. At least this is easier than talking about kindness, or what's happened to Crowley since he arrived here.] Gabriel and Beelzebub turned up, but you, you clever thing, pointed out that the Great Plan might not be the Ineffable one. They had no idea what to make of that, but it pulled 'em up short. Then, uh —
[This is the trickier bit. He hasn't really had a chance to go into detail of his trip to Heaven back home, and now he has to try to manage it when they've skipped a few steps.]
Heaven wasn't... pleased with you. We swapped places, corporations, I went to Heaven in your place and stood in the hellfire that was — that was meant for you.
[For millennia, Crowley has known that Heaven is full of hypocrites and assholes, but he hasn't even begrudged Aziraphale his loyalty. That sort of thing can't be rushed, it would've been cruel to do so. He knows it's going to hurt, learning that Heaven wanted him dead. But he won't lie, not now.]
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He's barely holding it together now, just for entirely different reasons.]
The boy, the antichrist, he decided he'd had enough of everyone telling him what to do with his power, so he just... stopped it. Told Satan to bugger off, basically, rewrote reality so that he wasn't Satan's son anymore and it sort of stalled the whole business. [He assumes there are going to be a million questions, so he decides to cover the basics and leave room for what Aziraphale decides to focus on. At least this is easier than talking about kindness, or what's happened to Crowley since he arrived here.] Gabriel and Beelzebub turned up, but you, you clever thing, pointed out that the Great Plan might not be the Ineffable one. They had no idea what to make of that, but it pulled 'em up short. Then, uh —
[This is the trickier bit. He hasn't really had a chance to go into detail of his trip to Heaven back home, and now he has to try to manage it when they've skipped a few steps.]
Heaven wasn't... pleased with you. We swapped places, corporations, I went to Heaven in your place and stood in the hellfire that was — that was meant for you.
[For millennia, Crowley has known that Heaven is full of hypocrites and assholes, but he hasn't even begrudged Aziraphale his loyalty. That sort of thing can't be rushed, it would've been cruel to do so. He knows it's going to hurt, learning that Heaven wanted him dead. But he won't lie, not now.]