( that's what he thought. pussy. )

You think I'm gonna cry? Ask the powers-that-be pretty please for benevolent mercy? Boohoo, asshole. Just 'cause you got unresolved baggage doesn't mean I'm carrying the same load.

( he's felt worse, besides. biofoam between two fractured ribs to stop his body from slipping into hemorrhagic shock, the first time he woke up from cryo mid-jump and hyperventilated into hysterics, choking on suspension gel until the ship ai dosed him back into restless sleep. this is hotter than all of that, a searing throb he feels all the way down to his marrow. maddening. he'll claw right out of his skin and suit and maybe his mind, but it's survivable.

easier not to look at him and propel his mind to tumultuous turf, the point of no return, no man's land. easier not to think at all. but felix is felix, and he doesn't know how to not think at every second of every hour he's not unconscious, so he grips his shoulder again and digs his thumb into the gouge in his suit. pain. that's real. )

Fucking — just, ( venomous, hissed between tiny breaths, ) go back to your corner if you're not gonna bust my skull in. You're distracting me.