duplicitymemes | TDM #31

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«tdm

TDM #31

« « « TEST DRIVE MEME » » »

« « « ALL ON DISPLAY

It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. Yet, solace is found in the lies we tell each other, comforted by the peace of knowing that we're not alone in our depravity, and once on this path, sin itself becomes the lesser of two evils masked in a cloud of normalcy.

This is how Duplicity has functioned since the beginning. The divide of power and social standing is overt in that Dominants influence the decisions made both publicly and privately while Submissives cater to the rules presented to them. It is the way of Duplicity to assign random designations at birth with no leeway in altering what has been given. Climate in the Up is far stricter than that of the Down; violating outlined personas for a Dominant or Submissive while in full view of others is punished by degree of infraction. In the Down, many tend to turn a blind eye to these sorts of offenses.

To counteract the discovery of the deceit gene – a natural "negative" response to all stimuli – the LIEs program was founded. The program had been designed to introduce new subjects to the current environment and test for the deceit gene through immersion in Duplicity's standing society. Sexual impulses and encounters increase the chances of detecting the gene within these individuals. Participants are typically released from LIEs after a year; however, results have remained unsatisfactory and testing still continues.

... and you're here! Finally! Welcome to Duplicity.

After choosing a door and stepping through to the other side, the first thing that greets you are the enthusiastic faces of people in medical scrubs and pristine lab coats. Their enthusiasm translates to eagerness as they strip you of your clothes to perform a thorough examination—you will be healed, bathed, and given a paper gown to wear until your items can be processed and delivered to your residence later in the evening. You are also given a device that accesses the network as well as the time and location of Orientation.

If you enter Duplicity into the Up, congratulations! You're a Dominant, which means you are immediately picked up by a limo after processing and taken to your high-rise. Here, it is two Dominants per floor with separate apartments. If you enter Duplicity into the Down, congratulations! You're a Submissive, which means you are directed towards public transportation with the address of the motel you'll be living in. Here, it is two Submissives per room with a shared common space for all rooms.

Enjoy your free time until Orientation! Participation is mandatory for all new and past arrivals.

It's the hottest part of the summer. Prepare to sweat.

» » » ALL ABOARD

After stepping through the door and participating in Orientation, LIERs are assembled together in the Up for a tour of Duplicity in its entirety. Seats are in pairs and randomly assigned to Dominants and Submissives alike. Traveling from Fiddler's Square, the train journeys through various parts of the Up, showcasing society and examples of lifestyle. Along the way, frequent stops are made; a variety of passengers can be seen exiting and entering the doors. A Dominant with a kneeling Submissive takes a seat near the front of the train at one stop. A small group of Submissives board and sit closer to the LIERs at another, all seemingly content in their roles. As the tour continues through the Up, the train passes close to the Market and White Wall Bridge and zips by North Park before heading into the Down and bypassing Red Wall Bridge and South Park.

The train makes a "final" stop at Riddler's Square, where inhabitants of the Down are instructed to return to their temporary housing. Those who live in the Up are permitted to stay on the train and revisit the same locations while returning.

« « « DEEP END

(cw: aphrodisiacs, dub-con, groping, public nudity, public sex)

It's summertime! To beat the heat, LIEs has decided to throw a pool party directly following Orientation at one of the city's public pools! Attendance is mandatory for new arrivals and strongly encouraged for everyone else. New arrivals are provided with (skimpy) swimsuits to wear, but LIERs who have been in the city a while have the option of bringing their own gear. Of course, skinny dipping is allowed as well, and there are many spots on deck for people to tan themselves.

Speaking of tanning, why not help out a fellow LIER by rubbing some lotion on them? Or, if you want to avoid a burn, get someone to put sunscreen on your back? The formulas of the complementary products that LIEs provide may or may not have a mild aphrodisiac added to them, but at least you won't burn and you may get that nice golden tan you've been chasing — all over!

While one end of the pool is reserved for people to splash around in or float casually, there are numerous games and water activities for people to join in on as well:

In a sexy twist on Marco Polo, though in Duplicity the call and response is "lucky" and "get me," the seeker must try and tag other players by tugging at their swimsuits. They'll be rewarded with 30 seconds of foreplay, groping and whatever else they can accomplish within the time frame.

Dominant and Submissive pairs face off against one another in piggyback chicken fights or jousts using inflatable toys and suggestively shaped pool noodles.

Are those dildos stuck to the bottom of the pool? You bet! Dive down and retrieve them before handing them to the next person behind you to toss in and dive for or just collect as many as you can. There is, of course, the option of using said dildo on yourself or someone else for others to watch and enjoy on the pool deck. No judgment here.

For those who prefer a slightly more private option, there are curtained cabanas available and it's easy enough to duck inside with a partner for a quick tryst.

» » » CREAMSICLE

(cw: aphrodisiacs, dub-con, altered mental states, miscellaneous kink)

Whether it's the obnoxious, telltale jingle that signals the arrival of ice cream trucks, or the vehicles happen to be spotted in their various parking spots all around Duplicity — including some smaller carts made to navigate the narrower streets of the Down, it's obvious that they're popular considering the warm summer weather. It seems the locals can't get enough of the cool, sweet treats on offer — and, even better, the trucks are offering free samples in addition to selling regular sizes. Popsicles and soft serve ice cream are on the menu, and each frozen bite has its own unique set of effects.

The menu:

Rainbow popsicle - feel the urge to engage in a random kink

Cherry or strawberry popsicle - tell someone about a sexual desire

Grape popsicle - blurt out something embarrassing (but not necessarily sexual)

Ice cream sandwich - temporarily imprint on/feel an intense bond with someone of opposite designation (whoever one sees first)

Vanilla soft serve - enhances desire to serve or be serviced (depending on if one's designation is Sub or Dom)

Chocolate soft serve - enhances sadistic or masochistic tendencies

Want sprinkles with that? Enjoy your added aphro!

« « « NEW TRICKS

(cw: dub-con/non-con, pet play, leash and collar, training/discipline, exhibitionism)

A new public park has recently been built on a formerly empty lot in the Up. The bigger sign on the gate reads "Dog Park," and the smaller sign adjacent to it includes the posted rules that all people need to abide by in order to enter. If you're curious about what such a structure entails (after all, there are dogs in Duplicity), you're in luck: today, there's a meet-and-greet being hosted for pets and their owners, sponsored by a local "pet" shop, with banners advertising the event posted at each end of the park.

This is a Dog Park, alright, but it's intended for a very specific kind of play involving the LIERs who want to wear the collars in question as well as the LIERs who are interested in holding their leashes. Even if you've never harbored an interest in it before, don't worry — random bystanders will be enthusiastically pressured to join in by event volunteers, so you might find yourself wearing a collar or holding a leash in very short order regardless. All pets must be collared and leashed properly in order to enter the Dog Park, and owners must remain in close proximity to their pets at all times. There are toys for tugging and fetching, a few pieces of special playground equipment, and more than enough space to run around. There will also be obedience challenges issued to various pairs at random, just to see how in sync both pet and owner are with one another.

If you decide to participate and remain on your best behavior, you might even earn a nice treat in addition to a pat on the head. The pet shop will be handing out goodie bags consisting of take-home collars, as well as animal tail plugs and other sex toys and gear, to everyone who takes part in the event, willingly or not.

» » » MOD & OOC NOTES

Please read carefully.

On each Test Drive Meme, there will be a section noting character roles; these will vary each TDM. On an IC level, characters will still have gone through the doors but the assignments are OOCly randomized. When applying, there is a section of the application that denotes whether the character chooses "left" or "right." When participating on the TDM, there will be a third option. Players may link either a top level or a thread (five or more comments from their character) from the TDM and title the link as "Door Pass." This means that the player is choosing to take the designation that they were randomly assigned on the TDM, rather than taking the designation of a door. If the player decides to select a door rather than use the pass, then they are trying their luck; they may get the same designation they had on the TDM or the opposite. Once the application is submitted, players can't change their choice.

To assign roles to characters for this TDM, use the following guide:

If your character is a night owl, they are a Dominant. If your character prefers the daytime, they are a Submissive.

To Note: Characters can only swap their designation for one of the following reasons: an event occurs that allows it or there are OOC reasons that make it a necessity. Any swap always requires mod approval and each character can only ever switch once. Characters that are being reapped will keep their previous designation but players can choose to tag on new TDMs with different designations for fun!

Test Drive threads can be used as activity proofs for characters currently in-game.

Please remember to mark any necessary content, and have fun!!

» » » MAIN NAVIGATION « « «

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There’s something endearing about the way Ed wraps the towel around his shoulders, though using it as a blanket in that way does nothing for Stede’s more immediate problem with wandering eyes. But if that’s what makes Ed comfortable, then so be it. Certainly no one in this world is going to mind.

The joke very nearly goes over his head, and he has to actively fight a smile when it finally does land. He clears his throat in an attempt to mask it. “No one here will think twice about that, but you really should consider charging before putting on a show.”

Now there’s the matter of where they’re going to go. “There’s a park nearby,” he muses out loud as he leads them to the exit. “I could also offer up my room in the Down, but it’s not guaranteed to be private. We get roommates down there whether we like it or not.”

"Charging...?" he scoffs, "Like some peepshow at The Republic. Quite the career change you're suggesting, there."

Edward looks down at himself beneath the towel as if considering for a second, "Nah, can't deprive the public of this view." he mutters before thinking twice about it, finding Stede all-too-easy to joke with again despite his anger. The thought concerns him, fear of becoming too comfortable, too vulnerable a real risk.

And despite those thoughts, his stupid mouth seems to be speaking for him before he can filter any of that bullshit out.

"I live in a damn castle, apparently. No one else there..." he winces, regretting these choices yet again, but finding he really can't fucking help himself. He makes a mental note to step into a freezing cold shower once he does get home and snap himself the fuck out of it, but finds his mind quickly replaces the thought with a warm shower instead, where Stede Bonnet joins him. Fuuuuck.

“That’s a well-respected career path here,” Stede points out, but he’s mostly distracted following Ed’s gaze downward. This is far more of skin than he’s ever seen of his former co-captain. He could sit and trace those tattoos with his eyes all afternoon… though he’d rather do it with his fingertips. Any scars too. He wants to catalog each of them, in detail, as far down as they might—

—and he doesn’t even have lotion to thank for the bawdier thoughts that brings about. He clears his throat, looking away and nodding before he’s even really processed Ed’s suggestion.

“Oh, that’s right. You'd have that, wouldn't you? That would be perfect. I can lead us to the Up, but you’ll have to take it from there.”

Edward barely has time to notice the way Stede is looking at him, because he's rather busy looking at Stede the same way. He'd seen him undressed before, in truth, having helped Roach fix him up after finding him with his guts hanging out on the deck, and then later trading clothes once he'd woken up... but they were practically strangers, then. A lot has happened since that time, realizations of feelings, the taste of Stede's lips...

Fuck, he needs to calm down, or the tight swimsuit he's wearing is about to start feeling a lot tighter. But how the fuck is he supposed to when a set of the most magnificent legs he's ever fucking seen are on display right in front of him and his shirt hangs open like a little doorway to that lovely chest.

"Lead on. I'll let you know when it starts to look familiar."

“Alright then.” Stede gives a quick nod, doing his best to focus on the task at hand rather than Edward's... well, everything. He studiously keeps his eyes up, focused ahead, and then starts leading them on their way.

It occurs to him as they walk that they've never just done this: meandered together through a town or any other public place that wasn't on a ship, at least not for pleasure (their stint in captivity notwithstanding). It's such a mundane thing. Something so simple that he'd have taken it for granted anywhere and with anyone else. Now, though... he wishes he could enjoy it more.

There's no forgetting where they are though. The security patrolling the Up make sure of that, though they don't bother Stede for being where he doesn't belong. He almost forgets why until he remembers Ed's designation.

“They'd be much less polite if I were up here alone,” he mutters as they pass a guard, just loudly enough for Ed to hear. He isn’t sure which one of the homes is his, but he gets them as close to the residential area as he can from memory. It's up to Ed from here.

"I don't get it." he mutters, taking a quick look around to get his bearings. "Seems like no matter how far you travel, people insist on labeling everyone in some bullshit hierarchy."

He'd run away from his poor family to make a name for himself as a pirate, only to find that pirates still have a fucking role to perform. Would it have been the same if they'd made it to China? Probably. Is it really worse that they've made it here, instead? Time will tell.

He recognizes a building and leads Stede on, now realizing that if Stede leaves his place alone, it sounds weirdly dangerous for him. Maybe he fucking deserves it. Jury's still out.

"This is the one." he grunts as they approach his building, the doors opening to a large lobby with a lift at the back to take them to Ed's assigned flat.

"They really do relish doing that here."

Stede is very obviously no stranger to finery, but he’s not had the chance to experience that much of it in Duplicity. He takes in the lobby with open curiosity, fingers lingering on the metal fillagree in the lift when they ride it up. No such detail is given to the things in the Down. It’s all very utilitarian.

Once they’re at the flat, he takes only a couple of steps inside before stopping, seemingly unsure of himself. This is suddenly strangely awkward. It’s like walking into a stranger’s home… except they aren’t strangers. But he also doesn’t have leave to just make himself comfortable either.

“It’s lovely,” is what he finally settles on to say. At least he means it. “How are you liking it?”

God, now he's devolved into small talk.

"It's a fucking farce." he mutters as he pushes past into the sitting area, flopping into a large, spacious sofa where he's already made a depression indentation. He's barely explored the flat. It was too weird and big and empty. If he could spend time anywhere else, he has.

"I don't even remember what we were going to talk about when we got here." he admits, emotionally exhausted. 'Was too busy staring at your ass.' he manages to leave unsaid. He wonders, briefly, if Stede would be down to put a pin in the argument for the night so that he can rest up and be angry again in the morning.

That’s one of the many things Stede loves about Ed: his straightforward nature. The lack of filter is endearing, even it isn’t kind.

“It’s that too,” he admits, sitting himself down slowly—almost carefully—on the edge of a plush chair near the couch. Like he’s afraid one wrong move will rescind his invitation here for him. “Welcome to high society: it’s all a farce of some kind.”

He spends the next few seconds taking Ed in: His pose. His exhaustion. His hands curl into loose fists in his lap, resisting the urge to reach for him.

“We can talk about anything.” There’s another moment’s hesitation before he keeps speaking. “You… said you’ve been a mess. Do you… want to talk about that?”

"Mm." Edward responds to Stede's agreement, a sort of agreeing sound. He doesn't move though, barely looks at Stede, his eyesight seemingly directed off into space.

"Might've fucked up." he says blandly, his voice hollow and emotionless. "Did a lot of things before I got here. None of them good."

Is he really sure this is going to go over well? He's pretty sure it won't. But Stede needs to see him for what he really is; a monster. If he doesn't, he'll just keep trying to apologize, and Edward is sure to be abandoned once Stede does figure it out.

Ed scoffs. "You're not gonna like it."

Stede leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped between them. He's frowning, but it's a mildly puzzled and concerned look. He doesn't seem, at the moment, like he's worried about whatever it is Ed has supposedly done. It's more that he's worried for him.

"Maybe not. One way to find out, isn't there?" He raises an eyebrow, expectant.

Edward takes a shaky breath, feeling the tears well up in his eyes before he event speaks.

"Maybe I shouldn't--" he stops himself, afraid to look at Stede. "I--"

How is he so fucking afraid of upsetting Stede right now? When he's literally upset from something Stede has done to him? Cowardly. Blackbeard should never be cowardly. He takes another deep breath.

"I destroyed everything." he says, "Everything and everyone who reminded me of you. It's all gone."

It takes a moment for Stede to really process that. He's tempted to think of it in the metaphorical, at first... but then there's something about the way Ed says it that makes him think otherwise. He slowly starts to sit up straight again.

"Everything and—" His voice catches on the next word.

"What did you do?"

Stede sits up and Edward knows he can't keep sitting there and feeling sorry for himself. He knows that he's done unforgivable things in his anger. Maybe if he just continues to lay here and give Stede a wig pair of wet, sad eyes, he'll forgive him? No- stupid. That would be stupid.

Edward pushes himself upright, slowly. He recounts the memories as he tugs the towel closer around himself and sits cross-legged on the couch, hair in his eyes.

"Got rid of the boy, first." he mutters. He had to... Lucius was the only person on board who would have stood up to him. Who would have saw through him. Who could have talked him down. But he was more than that too, he was a reminder. A reminder that Edward took his advice, opened himself up to Stede and showed him his softer sides, sacrificed the leather and the cool guy routine to instead just be with him, and he still ended up a pathetic, sad old man who would die alone in a puddle of his own piss.

"Then your things. Tossed them all overboard just like him. Half the time I thought it was just in anger, but in the back of my head I hoped, just maybe, you'd follow the breadcrumbs back to me." he shook his head, hissing out a breath of air when he realizes how fucking stupid that sounds to say out loud.

"Then the rest of them. Most of them. Left 'em to rot on some remote fucking island that probably doesn't even have a name." a beat, and then in a more amused tone: "There's also the whole toe thing, but you probably won't care about that."

Stede knows full well what Ed is capable of. He’s seen it for himself, on those ‘how to be a pirate’ demonstration raids. He just hadn’t ever seriously considered Ed turning that cruelty on him and his crew. He should have known, though. Should have thought ahead. Not even the weirdly sweet idea of a bread crumb trail out at sea can cut entirely through his dread and overpowering guilt as he imagines the fate of his crew.

He’d done this to them sure as Edward had. He’d sealed their fate with his own selfishness.

“You didn’t.” It’s a flimsy denial, and one he clearly doesn’t believe, more a plea than a statement. He’s staring at Ed, horrified as he slowly stands up. “Tell me you didn’t. Lucius—he’s just a boy, Edward!” His voice gets louder from the start to the end of that sentence, so that he’s near shouting when he’s finished.

“And you threw him overboard?”

Edward thinks that scolding from Stede would hurt him, make him feel more guilty. Somehow it does the opposite. All he feels is more anger. Stede stands, and Edward looks up at him from beneath his brow, biting his tongue until he can't anymore.

"He's a fucking pirate. Had to know what he was signing up for." he grunts petulantly, crossing his arms. He looks on fully then, eyebrows raised matter-of-factly as he leans back in his seat. "Seems to me like you didn't."

As often as Stede has come up against that truth since he set out on a life of piracy, it stings so much more coming from Ed. He’d always seen good in what Stede was doing. He’d always seen something worthy. Now he’s talking down to him like every other run-of-the-mill pirate Stede has come across. The anger propels him forward, overtaking even the crushing guilt for a moment.

“That doesn’t make it alright! And it wasn’t like it was some other pirate crew, or even the Navy—it was you. They trusted you! I trusted you!”

And Edward trusted you, an helpful little voice in his mind reminds him. And where did that get him?

"Funny thing about trust." Edward sighs, his expression holding onto the anger, "Kinda goes hand-in-hand with loyalty."

Stede's inner voice is spot-on. Edward's anger begins to take on a calm, cool, eerie tone when he speaks. It almost sounds deranged.

"You see, I trusted a man once. I’d say I more than trusted him. He was important to me, wasn't he? I reckon you could say he was more than just a friend. And so, when faced with the decision to let him die and carry on with my life or intervene, I chose the latter." Edward stands, now meeting Stede's gaze head-on.

"I put everything on the line. My own life, my crew. I threw the last twenty or so years of my life into the drink to show him just how much I trusted him. And that man abandoned me, giving me no choice but to crawl back to the crew that had just watched me sign my fate over to the Navy.

"Respect needed to be restored. Otherwise, the entire ship is vulnerable no naval attack. They need a leader, Bonnet. One who isn't weak. Want to pick and choose what is and isn't alright? You would be fucking dead if it weren't for me. Three times over, by my count. Balance that on your scales of morality."

Stede’s eyes are full of unshed tears by the time Ed is done—but he doesn’t turn away. And he doesn’t flinch, because he knows this story already. And it's all true. He’d set the dominoes all up in a nice, neat little row, then had kicked one with his heel and not bothered to stay and see the rest fall.

He’d thought, for a moment there on that dinghy, that perhaps he was more than the sum of his mistakes. Maybe he’d had some fairy tale notions that love would overcome all the terrible things he believed about himself. He’d been a fool to forget, even for a moment, that—

“I defile beautiful things,” he says softly, looking straight into Edward’s eyes. Badminton’s words come to him easily, like they’ve just been waiting for a chance to be spoken aloud. One tear slips then, and he’s quick to wipe it away with an almost impatient swipe of his hand.

“I thought I was protecting you,” he continues, voice louder now. “But I wasn’t, was I? There was no avoiding something like this happening. It was too late by the end. It was just a matter of when it would all go wrong. And it isn’t even just you paying for it now. The crew—”

He has to stop there, the enormity of it hitting him at once. He’d done this to Ed, who had taken it out on the crew—and it’s Stede’s fault. Ed isn’t blameless either, of course, but there’s no denying Stede was the catalyst.

"... their blood is on my hands as much as yours."

There's a weird complexity in Edward's feelings. He feels as pleased by seeing Stede cry the way he himself had as he feels gutted by those tears in such a way that he instinctively wants to protect Stede from the harm that's caused them. Of course, spite is a powerful feeling, but the love he still feels for Stede is stronger, he finds, begrudgingly.

"It's not--" he almost stops himself from walking it back, losing out to his better judgement by a hair, "I've always been a piece of shit, Stede. It was just a matter of time you'd find out."

God, he hates himself so fucking much.

The complexity of feelings is mutual. Stede is angry, hurt, heartbroken... but strangely resolute, he finds, despite all that. His worldview has been cemented by cold hard evidence. He knows what he has to do next.

"No, you're not. An asshole sometimes--yes. You are that." He smiles despite it all, the crinkling of his eyes causing a few more tears to slip down his cheeks. He doesn't bother wiping those away. "But you're also wonderful. You're so many things, all at once, and isn't that just something?"

He takes a steadying breath, swallowing back the emotion to deal with later. He wants to punch Ed, wants to kiss him, wants to... honestly, he just really wants to curl up somewhere in a nice pair of PJs and be self-pitying for a few hours. He hopes his roommate back in the Down won't mind.

"And now you have another chance to start over. To be Edward Teach again, in all that complexity. The only way in the way of that now, for you, is me."

Edward had said what he did to be dismissive. To downplay the hurtful things he'd just said to Stede and somehow despite just blaming goddamn everything on him, removing some of the fault. Clearly that was misguided. Maybe. He's so confused by all of this, his head is fucking spinning.

Maybe it's because, once again, Stede Bonnet has crafted the softest, more reassuring and wonderful things anyone has ever said to him. Explained in so many words that Edward isn't really the monster the myths about him portray him as, that instead, he's just human. Perfectly flawed.

Edward’s expression softens, the full range of human emotion displaying on his face until he's staring back at Stede like a doe-eyed child, full of regret and wonder and longing. Every time he thinks he's winning this argument, he takes three giant steps back, and now he's here, wanting to kiss him as badly as he did that night after the party, when the moon was full in the sky.

He feels time stop, he thinks. It must have, because when he comes to, his hand is reaching out and gently wiping each tear from Stede's cheek, and it's too late for him to stop himself from doing it.

Stede’s heart leaps in his chest when Ed touches him, and it’s all he can do not to close the distance between them and fall into his arms. He wants that comfort so much that he aches—nevermind that Ed was the one that made him hurt like this in the first place.

Well. Not Ed. That was Stede to himself, with Ed by proxy, which is exactly why he can’t let himself be tempted. There’s still a moment where he has to close his eyes, overwhelmed, and steady himself. It doesn’t help that Ed is beautiful like this. Soft, somehow. Those eyes… and that look on his face, it’s just…

No. Bonnet, when are you going to learn? Hope and longing battle it out in his heart and on his face, and it takes an immense force of will to push it all back down.

“Tell me to leave.” He blinks his eyes open again, catching Ed’s gaze and holding it. “I’m not doing it until you tell me to this time. But I think it’s clear why you should.” His voice shakes a bit at the end of that last sentence. He’ll explain if Edward needs him to, but it seems so obvious to him at this point.

Edward feels his own eyes leak with more tears, even after he had been certain he couldn't produce them anymore- that they had all been used up. His heart aches. Well... his entire body aches. He wants to fall forward onto the soft furniture and trap Stede beneath him, limbs locked together. Sleep it off, maybe. Well... assuming he can even sleep. Assuming, of course, that whatever it is in his system that's making the need to touch Stede so irresistible doesn't make him want to do something else first.

Easy, now.

"I can't--" he squeaks out, his voice cracking slightly. He realizes in the moment that telling Stede to leave would probably be smart. Mature, even. The right move but also the move that puts distance between them, that could mean never seeing him again. Saying goodbye. He can't bear it.

He's always ran from his problems. actually. He'd run away from home, leaving his mother behind after the incident with his father. He'd fled Hornigold's ship where he'd endured sometimes tremendous pain. He'd chased after Stede to escape the disenchantment he'd felt. A pirate's life was one on the run. Stede running almost seems normal, even if Ed fucking hates it. Maybe his own fucking ego is why it makes it so difficult for Ed to accept it.

"I don't want you to leave." he admits, barely a whisper. It's honest. Maybe the most honest he's been since they started this whole conversation.

Oh. That’s what Stede wants to hear more than anything, which makes it the most painful thing Ed could have said. Watching the other man cry, he can’t help but finally reach out, gently grasping his upper arms. He rubs his thumb over Ed’s bare skin in way he hopes is soothing.

“And I don’t want to either.” He whispers it back, a shared secret between them. Because as angry as he is with Ed still, he loves him. He knows that down to his bones.

“But I’m going to tell you what I should have told you before: I ruin everything I touch, Ed. My family, my crew…” He looks down at his hands on Ed’s arms, swallowing back another tide of emotion. One hand moves to Ed’s face, cupping his cheek carefully in his palm like something precious.

“… and you. ‘Brought history’s greatest pirate to ruin.’ Badminton was an ass, just like his brother, but he told me that right before he died. And he wasn’t wrong.” The softness eases from his expression, leaving a sad determination in its wake.

“That’s why you need to say it. Take this chance to start over. On your own terms.”

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