Whatever this city is and wherever it is, what Juno sees when Nureyev moves towards him is a complete impossibility. Because that undeniably is him and Juno wastes a few precious seconds in which he could plan his reaction by looking to see if he can still run away from all of this. But Nureyev has seen him, and Juno has seen Nureyev, and the door is clear on the other side of the room.
There's no escape to be found in this city anyway, only postponement, but even that would be damn sight better than actually facing this right now and dealing with whatever all of it means, whatever Peter Nureyev means.
Of course Nureyev is going to be mad at him, and maybe it's better to just deal with that now instead of putting it off any longer, maybe it's better to take his beatings and slink into some dark alley to lick his wounds. Even so, Juno's eyes scan Peter Nureyev's face and his body like it's something he can reassure himself with, like it's something that he deserves to be able to look at. Nureyev is marked like the submissive in this place and that does something to Juno's chest for a second, makes it tight and uncomfortable, before he realizes that Nureyev is a clever man and a thief and there's no guarantee that it is any more real than the rest of whatever identity Nureyev is currently wearing.
Juno has imagined this meeting a thousand times, imagined how Nureyev would act. He's imagined throwing himself on Nureyev's mercy, confessing that he made a mistake and he wants everything, all of it, back. Most of the time he imagines Nureyev saying no, or walking away, and Juno knows that he's earned that, that that's what he deserves.
He opens his mouth, says "I—," and closes it again.
"It wasn't presented as optional," he says, because he assumed that Nureyev means the city more than the bar, because he doesn't know what else to say. He should give the man a chance to walk away, give him an excuse to do what he should. "You're looking well." It's a banal, dumb thing to say, because Nureyev always looks good and Juno knows that he looks like shit. But it's something to fall back on, right now, and right now Juno needs that.
Peter Nureyev
Whatever this city is and wherever it is, what Juno sees when Nureyev moves towards him is a complete impossibility. Because that undeniably is him and Juno wastes a few precious seconds in which he could plan his reaction by looking to see if he can still run away from all of this. But Nureyev has seen him, and Juno has seen Nureyev, and the door is clear on the other side of the room.
There's no escape to be found in this city anyway, only postponement, but even that would be damn sight better than actually facing this right now and dealing with whatever all of it means, whatever Peter Nureyev means.
Of course Nureyev is going to be mad at him, and maybe it's better to just deal with that now instead of putting it off any longer, maybe it's better to take his beatings and slink into some dark alley to lick his wounds. Even so, Juno's eyes scan Peter Nureyev's face and his body like it's something he can reassure himself with, like it's something that he deserves to be able to look at. Nureyev is marked like the submissive in this place and that does something to Juno's chest for a second, makes it tight and uncomfortable, before he realizes that Nureyev is a clever man and a thief and there's no guarantee that it is any more real than the rest of whatever identity Nureyev is currently wearing.
Juno has imagined this meeting a thousand times, imagined how Nureyev would act. He's imagined throwing himself on Nureyev's mercy, confessing that he made a mistake and he wants everything, all of it, back. Most of the time he imagines Nureyev saying no, or walking away, and Juno knows that he's earned that, that that's what he deserves.
He opens his mouth, says "I—," and closes it again.
"It wasn't presented as optional," he says, because he assumed that Nureyev means the city more than the bar, because he doesn't know what else to say. He should give the man a chance to walk away, give him an excuse to do what he should. "You're looking well." It's a banal, dumb thing to say, because Nureyev always looks good and Juno knows that he looks like shit. But it's something to fall back on, right now, and right now Juno needs that.