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Duplicity Game Mods ([personal profile] duplicitymods) wrote in [community profile] duplicitymemes2019-09-12 04:47 pm
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TDM #8


« « « TEST DRIVE MEME » » »


« « « AND IT GOES ON AND ON


It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. Yet, solace is found in the lies we tell each other, comforted by the peace of knowing that we're not alone in our depravity, and once on this path, sin itself becomes the lesser of two evils masked in a cloud of normalcy.

This is how Duplicity has functioned since the beginning. The divide of power and social standing is overt in that Dominants influence the decisions made both publicly and privately while Submissives cater to the rules presented to them. It is the way of Duplicity to assign random designations at birth with no leeway in altering what has been given. Climate in the Up is far stricter than that of the Down; violating outlined personas for a Dominant or Submissive while in full view of others is punished by degree of infraction. In the Down, many tend to turn a blind eye to these sorts of offenses.

To counteract the discovery of the Deceit Gene – a natural "negative" response to all stimuli – the L.I.E.S. program was founded. The program had been designed to introduce new subjects to the current environment and test for the Deceit Gene through immersion in Duplicity's standing society. Sexual impulses and encounters increase the chances of detecting the gene within these individuals. Participants are typically released from L.I.E.S. after a year; however, results have remained unsatisfactory and testing still continues.

... and you’re here! Finally! Welcome to Duplicity.

After choosing a door and stepping through to the other side, the first thing that greets you are the enthusiastic faces of people in medical scrubs and pristine lab coats. Their enthusiasm translates to eagerness as they strip you of your clothes to perform a thorough examination—you will be healed, bathed, and given a paper gown to wear until your items can be processed and delivered to your residence later in the evening. You are also given a device that accesses the network as well as the time and location of orientation.

If you enter Duplicity into the Up, congratulations! You’re a Dominant, which means you are immediately picked up by a limo after processing and taken to your highrise. Here, it is two Dominants per floor with separate apartments. If you enter Duplicity into the Down, congratulations! You’re a Submissive, which means you are directed towards public transportation with the address of the motel you’ll be living in. Here, it is two Submissives per room with a shared common space for all rooms.

Enjoy your free time until orientation! Participation is mandatory by all new and old arrivals.

The hellish summer heat is finally starting to subside, and the cool breeze suggests autumn is approaching.



» » » TAKE A RIDE




After stepping through the door and participating in orientation, LIERS are assembled together in the Up for a tour of Duplicity in its entirety. Seats are in pairs and randomly assigned to Dominants and Submissives alike. Traveling from Fiddler's Square, the train journeys through various parts of the Up, showcasing society and examples of lifestyle. Along the way, frequent stops are made; a variety of passengers can be seen exiting and entering the doors. A Dominant with a kneeling Submissive takes a seat near the front of the train at one stop. A small group of Submissives board and sit closer to the LIERS at another, all seemingly content in their roles. As the tour continues through the Up, the train passes close to the Market and White Wall Bridge and zips by North Park before heading into the Down and bypassing Red Wall Bridge and South Park.

The train makes a "final" stop at Riddler's Square, where inhabitants of the Down are instructed to return to their temporary housing. Those who live in the Up are permitted to stay on the train and revisit the same locations while returning.



« « « A POCKET OF PENNIES




The weather’s getting cooler, and people have begun transitioning from summer clothing to the sweaters and jackets of early fall. With jackets come pockets, and with pockets come a bizarre uptick in robberies.

Then again, perhaps the correlation is flawed. In the Down, getting robbed is a constant threat. Gangs of street toughs look for lone or inattentive people who look like they’ve got valuables on hand. Uncontracted Submissives are particularly easy to rob, since authorities have little time to bother with a lowly Submissive without a Dominant to advocate for them. One particularly nasty gang of young adult men, the Bulldogs, hangs out near the train, looking to ambush unwary Submissives fresh out of Orientation. They are prone to violent muggings and will simply beat up their target and leave them in a gutter when they’re finished robbing them.

In the Up, the streets are nominally safer, but there have been reports of a group of college-aged Submissive women taking advantage of their designation to attack travelers. They, too, stand near the train and the orientation center, looking to seduce passersby into an alley where a group of them can beat and mug their victims, usually Dominants looking to capitalize on their pretty appearances.

But you’re truthfully at risk anywhere in the city. The new arrivals are easy targets, and any brazen thief might get the idea to make some quick cash. The authorities are spread too thin to help, but perhaps LIErs can look out for one another?

Or they might just get in on the thievery. Everyone’s out for themselves, after all.



« « « NEW FLESH LIKE A GLOVE


( CW: potential dubcon, drugs, BDSM/sexual torture, prostitution, public use )

Surrounding a large building near the orientation center in the Up, banners and fliers announcing the beginning of the inaugural Duplicity High Tech Sexpo, a trade show for businesses and manufacturers of adult novelties. Since this is the expo’s first year, admission is free and many excited volunteers are handing out vouchers all over the city. These vouchers can be exchanged for goods and services within the expo, but have no monetary value outside of it. Even if you refuse them, you’ll likely find two or three of them tucked into your bag or pocket.

Inside the expo hall, there are dozens of booths pitching a variety of entertainments. Many offer interactive demonstrations, showing off their tech for the crowds of interested onlookers. Competition is fierce, and booths try to attract attention and customers through any means necessary. There are private rooms all around the expo for potential customers to try out the products. Booths will also happily accept volunteers for demos, or try to recruit them by bribing them with cash or free samples. There’s a nasty rumor going around that some are recruiting volunteers via more illicit means, like drugging and dressing them up, but surely that’s an exaggeration…

Some of the smaller booths sell more traditional toys and accessories: leashes and collars, specialty lubes and massage oils, fetish gear, strap-ons, dildos and vibrators in myriad shapes and sizes, and other basic items. Others advertise apps for the devices, the most notable of which is HUGGR (which LIErs may recognize as a poorly rebuilt sex-themed version of a certain other app.) The closer you get to the big-ticket sponsor booths, the more elaborate and fantastic the products become.

One of the most eye-catching demos is for the Climax VR Headset. You and a partner both wear a VR headset, which displays a collaborative virtual scenario. Both partners can alter the setting and surroundings however they like, and any sexual activity conducted in VR transmits real sensations to their bodies. You can come together without ever physically touching.

Symphony Hydraulics have a large, loud booth where crowds gather to watch perhaps the most outrageous demo: a variety of fucking machines. Volunteers get stripped, strapped in, and turned on, brought to screaming orgasms in front of the whole crowd. There is a fifteen minute break between demos on each machine, as some poor intern hurriedly washes and sanitizes them between uses. In the interim, they offer smaller, portable versions for sale or rent at the expo. (Some may note that a few of the Symphony Hydraulics staff members look a bit familiar.)

Does all this high-tech equipment have you overwhelmed? Wish you could go back to a simpler time? Sir Robert’f Bedroome Provifionf (sic) is helmed by historical reenactor Robert Plum, who has also created his own line of medieval torture device-themed sex toys. Need a chastity belt to keep your Submissive all to yourself? A rack with an attached spreader-bar? An iron maiden with soft vibrating silicone ticklers inside? All the stocks and whips and chains you could ever need? Sir Robert has you covered. Of course, everything on display is harmlessly altered for sexual novelty purposes, but one might also ask to see Sir Robert’s “special” merchandise in the back.

Perhaps the most unassuming booth at the expo belongs to Grandma Hattie’s Snacks and Sweets. Grandma Hattie, a kindly old Submissive, has partnered with a tech company to produce what appear to be completely normal vending machines, stocked full of her tasty homemade bread, snack cakes, and other baked goods. Vouchers are good for a free sample of any treat from a vending machine. They taste amazing and have no apparent odd effects-- until 10 minutes after consumption, when you suddenly gain an insatiable craving for a random kink. Your craving will dominate your thoughts for three hours, or until it is appeased.



« « « PERFECTION OF THE DIGITAL




(CW: potential dubcon, objectification)

By far the largest and shiniest booth comes from expo sponsors Sexy Metal Incorporated, who have set up a display of their incredible high-tech sexbots. These life-sized dolls are made of extremely realistic material that feels like warm human skin, and come with state-of-the-art mechanics that give them lifelike movement. Engineers show off how the bots can be plugged into a computer and programmed to act any way the buyer likes.

They come in a wide variety of customizable appearances and eerily, some of the bots on display look exactly like people you may know. Booth staff encourage customers to buy these dolls, or to rent them and give them a try onstage in front of the fascinated crowds. If that’s not kinky enough, one of the engineers has purchased a VR headset from another booth, and programmed it to interface with the bot’s controls. Care to slip inside the silicone skin of another person?



« « « MOD & OOC NOTES



Please read carefully.

On each Test Drive Meme, there will be a section noting character roles; these will vary each TDM. On an IC level, characters will still have gone through the doors but assignments OOCly are still randomized. When applying, there is a section of the application that denotes whether the character chooses "left" or "right". When participating on the TDM, there will be a third option. Players may link either a top level or a thread (five or more comments from their character) from the TDM and title the link as "Door Pass". This means that the player is choosing to take the designation that they were randomly assigned on the TDM, rather than taking the designation of a door. If the player decides to select a door rather than use the pass, then they are trying their luck; they may get the same designation they had on the TDM or the opposite. Once the application is submitted, players can't change their choice.

To assign roles to characters for this TDM, use the following guide: In celebration of our one year, pick whichever role you want for your character!

» A Pocket Full of Pennies: Feel free to come up with any free-roving gangs or petty criminals you like for your characters to tangle with.

» New Flesh Like A Glove: Characters can spend money on items at the expo, or may exchange vouchers for what they want. Each voucher has a value of about $5 within the expo and they may be acquired by finding them, having them handed to characters/stuffed in their pockets or bags by expo volunteers, or paid them in exchange for “volunteering” at booths.

Characters may indeed try before they buy, either out in the open or using one of the provided private rooms with a partner. The expo has a staff of unpaid student interns tasked with cleaning and sanitizing products if they are used but not purchased.

Grandma Hattie’s snacks can inspire characters to have any kink you may desire.

» Perfection of the Digital: Sexbots can resemble any player characters, including brand new arrivals/test drive characters. They can also resemble characters that yours knows from home. The engineers have no explanation for this, and the one who identifies himself as the designer will shrug and say he gets inspiration from many places.

The sexbots are hot-ticket expensive merchandise, so security is tight around the booth. Characters who attempt to steal or destroy a sexbot (for instance, one who looks like themselves) will be quickly set upon by guards, who are meant to eject them from the expo. However, many of the guards will take bribes from other booths to provide them model “volunteers,” drugged into complacency.

If characters want to acquire a sexbot permanently, they will have to buy it or exchange a hefty 50 vouchers for it.

Please remember to mark any necessary content, and have fun!!




» » » MAIN NAVIGATION « « «

inseine: (pic#13407351)

[personal profile] inseine 2019-09-28 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
"Oh, that is doubtful," Javert interjected with a distracted hiss to his coat collar, referring to Carden's quip that he was handling the shock quite well. Then in a stronger voice, he resumed, "I put myself through the motions by force of habit. I will not gawk like a buffoon with a bare arse whilst I boggle over what sort of science has devised these contraptions. That attracts unwanted attentions. Looking decent, behaving decent, and buttoning myself up was a bigger and more useful priority than that."

Heavy postulating, self-reflection, and doubt was a thing best left for time alone; he pushed himself through the motions to get to his designated room before he allowed himself to fall to pieces, just as he pushed himself to take a seat at this restaurant before he permitted himself the luxury of a slip in his mien. At least alone, it was only himself that stood to hurt from whatever he chose to do as a result of his deep thoughts.

"I would rather not discuss futures at this table," he said slowly, and he laid a somewhat pained grimace on Carden. "The Americas, fine. I know about the Americas. The Future! That requires more drink than I care to have tonight."
wildphase: (pic#13403586)

[personal profile] wildphase 2019-09-28 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
"Oh take the compliment," he says, teasingly cross for a moment, though he's grinning, "There's a lot of people it seems who get here and panic. I can't blame them (and I didn't do super well my first whole month, either) but I do think it's an advantage to be capable of just buttoning up and behaving decently."

He laughs at the rest,

"I can't blame you for that one. I don't think I would want to know either. One of my..." boyfriends? partners? oh God, they've never talked about it and it's never come up before "... contracted housemates, he's from somewhere way far in the future from me. I guess I could ask more about what would be history for him, but I haven't, probably for the same reasons."

He thinks about not touching the next subject, but he supposes if he's trying to get Javert a little more acclimated, it's one that has to be touched on,

"Do they have uh... supernatural things in your world? Magic, maybe, that kind of thing? It seems like there's a really wide breadth of how common it is on different worlds."
inseine: (pic#13407340)

[personal profile] inseine 2019-09-28 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
"Only provincial fairy-tales and superstitions," frowned Javert, his eyes narrowing as he considered the implications of that question. He captured Carden in an unblinking stare, attempting to read the man's intentions in asking him such a thing. "I barely had the time or thought to think deeply of religion, let alone the supernatural. They were only stories."

This conversation was veering back into information overload, and he had the distinct impression he was not going to like wherever Carden intended to take that line of questioning. Yet he hinted that there were some things he could not explain reasonably, such as how the program-runners of Duplicity managed to dredge him out of the river and bring him here before he expired. Such was a thing only capable in some twisted horror-fantasy, yet there he was, alive and fully intact.
Edited 2019-09-28 04:13 (UTC)
wildphase: (pic#13403586)

[personal profile] wildphase 2019-09-28 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
Carden has a little more sense than to just spring everything he knows about the supernatural on someone at once, with that answer. He chooses his next words carefully, a bit slower,

"There are a number of people here who come from places where those kinds of things are commonplace. It wasn't common knowledge where I was from, either, so a few of them were pretty shocking to me, too. Sorry to be the one to add that to your list of things to deal with, but better you know it's something you might encounter at some point."

Oh, also I can use magic and phase through solid matter, but that's not important here. Yeaaaah, probably not something he needs to spring on this poor man. There are some people he might try to distract a bit with something like that, and it's good and important to know that he's not some kind of magic hunter or anything like that. But it's definitely not the time for a deeper conversation on the supernatural.
inseine: (smirkity smirk)

[personal profile] inseine 2019-09-28 03:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Javert can do little more but grunt like a curmudgeon and throw up his arms. A day like one he had, and he was only numb to even more of the fantastic. If someone walked on by and morphed into a massive red-horned Devil at that moment, he would have been unlikely to say much more than Ah, so you've come for me!

"Here I was concerned you would make me slog through a dull conversation about the weather, my work, my house-skills, my age, and my sexual preference," said Javert cuttingly, listing off all things that sounded like they could be relevant to a Dominant inquiring after a Submissive. Would that have been preferable? At least he would have had easy replies to those questions. He grinned toothily, though it did not reach his eyes, which remained sorrowful and intense. "I shall have to remember to forget simple in my other hat."
wildphase: (pic#13403586)

[personal profile] wildphase 2019-09-28 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Grunt like a curmudgeon is about as best Carden can hope for. He knows what it's like, to find out everything you believed was wrong, to not know what to believe. He didn't always know about the supernatural, after all, it's not commonplace where he's from, so he can appreciate an attitude of just... what can you do. Carden laughs at the list, shakes his head,

"No. I admit I'm curious about you, about your life and your world, but that person in the alley? I have my faults, but being that person isn't one of them. I'm uh..." he shakes his head, laughs with a little less humor, "... kind of a terrible Dominant, actually. I try, because well... it's the rules, you know? I'm not wholly opposed to rocking the boat, but I want it to mean something, if I do. But it's not really what I'm like, you know. I'd rather know you as a person, not as that," he gestures at the line on Javert's throat.

"But no... nothing here is simple. Everything is complicated." And that's kind of depressing, so he plows ahead, "Is there anything you'd like to know about me, about this place? I'm happy to talk about a lot of things. Something lighter. If you wanted."
inseine: (pic#13482232)

[personal profile] inseine 2019-09-28 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
That was when Javert began to look distinctly uncomfortable. He offered little more than a blank, bland look. This was not at all how he had planned to spend his evening, and he was ill-prepared to sweet talk a Dominant into a contract, let alone one that appeared to be half his age, despite his jests. He was also never a terribly sociable man, and he lived his life as an outcast from the start. His interest in other people mostly went in as deep as it was relevant to know others for his work or for a case. Hell, some of his closest 'friends' were probably a handful of bandits he had been acquainted with in their repeated run-ins with the law.

"I shall make myself clear," he said at last, and he raised his sharp eyes back to his companion without realizing he had squeezed them shut. "I am... not well. I must have had you fooled somehow. I had gone on a walk to sort my thoughts, ah! That ended in a bust, you saw how that went. Now I am sitting here with a lad half my age for a wine-and-dine, and the whole bloody idea is mind-blowing to me."

He twisted his water glass idly. Did that feel like a weight off his shoulders to admit? No, not quite.

"You are an all-right fellow, Carden. Share what you like, I will hear you. Ask what you like, I will tell. But the less I have to think, wretched as that is to me, the better."
wildphase: (pic#13403586)

[personal profile] wildphase 2019-09-28 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Perhaps some people might be offended at that, and Carden does look a bit surprised, but there's one cause for that and it's not likely what Javert might think,

"I'm sorry. You seemed as though you were... overwhelmed but... stable?" that's not quite the word he wants and he hopes that shows on his face, because it's not a particular kind one and he doesn't mean to be unkind. "Since we're being clear; you're not here for my amusement. I don't mind that this is how my evening has ended up and I am happy to use this stupid designation to make sure that you're both not robbed in an alley or worse and to get you food. But you don't owe me anything for that, including being a pleasant dinner companion." He quirks his lips into a little smile, "Though, uh, you might not believe me, but you haven't been bad so far."

"I grew up in... a boarding school? A monastery?" he's not sure how to explain without getting far too heavily into his own backstory in a way he doesn't want to right now. "I'm comfortable with silence, if you want. If not, I'll tell you some stories from my world that you don't really have to listen to."
inseine: (pic#13482236)

[personal profile] inseine 2019-09-29 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
"Talk is fine," said Javert resolutely, if tired. "It is vitality which I lack. Go on."

The waitress came back to pour the wine just then. Blessed wine! Exactly what Javert needed, and he was never a man to imbibe in more than just a glass with meals. When she had gone again, he dove onto that full gusto. There would be no bothering to savor the flavor, even if it was a finer variety than he was accustomed to.

"So you were something of a monk," observed Javert after that somewhat inappropriate swig. "If you hadn't before being sucked to this place, you must have quit the cloth now. The ways of this city are quite incompatible with monks-hood."
wildphase: (pic#13403586)

[personal profile] wildphase 2019-09-29 03:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Carden is trying not to let even the quiet amusement he feels at seeing Javert lay into the wine as though it had offended him show on his face.

"It's... complicated, like a lot of things," he says in answer to the question, "It's difficult, because if I call it 'boarding school' it brings to mind something like, I don't know... is Eton at thing for you? And it wasn't like that at all. But it wasn't really a monastery either, exactly. I mean, I've had all of the sex I've had in my life since coming here," he flushes slightly as he says it, looks away, but he gets it out of his mouth, at least, "But that wasn't really because there was ever a specific prohibition against it, so much as just... we were children, you know? And then once I graduated, things were... different."

It's pretty easy to build a timeline of events on where this point in time was where he hurt a bunch of people because he didn't ask questions, now, if only by what he shies away from talking about and what comes easily.

"What did you do, back home?" he's got some guesses but he's not sure if a lot of Javert's bearing is Javert or his time period, so he doesn't want to trust them.
inseine: (pic#13407171)

[personal profile] inseine 2019-09-29 04:58 pm (UTC)(link)
"I was never formally schooled. But all the wealthy students I have been acquainted with were the free-thinking, rebellious sort." Javert's sorrowful, scornful smirk looked plastered on. "One could have told me erotic affairs was ingrained in the curriculum and I would have been none the wiser."

Talk about sex did not make Javert bat even an eyelash. He had seen it all where he came from -- between prison-mate liaisons and interrupting unregistered whores at their business, there was nothing that would particularly shock him. Men were base and lascivious, and in a place with laws specifically requiring libertine behavior, he expected to hear much more casual talk about lustful affairs. There was little about sex could make him flinch and frown.

His former profession, however....

Javert flashed a pained grimace. He exercised a hefty dose of restraint to keep up appearances and slow down his drinking.

"Formerly an Inspector of Police." He intoned it automatically, monotonously, roughly. "I resigned my post, no intent to return to that. That makes me little more than a free agent."
Edited 2019-09-29 16:58 (UTC)
wildphase: (pic#13403586)

[personal profile] wildphase 2019-10-01 03:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Carden's probably gotten up to a few things here that might still make Javert blush, or at least flinch. But overall, he's still a good Southern boy who was told not to talk about things like that, not if he wanted to be polite. Half a year here isn't enough to change that, certainly.

He tilts his head to the side, a slight furrow appearing between his brows. Javert's definitely got something going on with that answer. A scandal? A betrayal? Corruption? Something to make him resign when he didn't want to or wasn't ready to, is his guess, but what that could be isn't clear and he doesn't really want to ask him things specifically with intent to pry.

"Yeah? I know how that one goes," he says, instead, toying with his wine glass, "but I'm betting you were at it a lot longer than I was." He's really too young to be a peer (though if Javert is somewhat shocked by his youth in a place like this, he's going to be scandalized at some of the others here) but he can sympathize to having to give up a job that has become your identity, and what that feels like to lose, if nothing else.

Food arrives, at some point, and it's weird, now, to see how wholly different Carden is while he flirts with the waitress and gives every impression of enjoying himself for a moment only to lapse back into the real mood at the table as soon as she's gone. Carden's not a great liar, actually, but he's a decent actor and it seems he's picked up a flair for improv from living here.
inseine: (pic#13407313)

[personal profile] inseine 2019-10-02 03:00 am (UTC)(link)
"Thirty-five years," Javert elaborated honestly, with that same bleak and tight air with which he named his former profession. "I cannot imagine your schooling exceeds that, unless you donned a cap and took to books in the womb."

A plate of food dropped before his nose, and he could not help but owe a swift glance at whatever-it-was, having never enjoyed a plate of pasta before in his entire 52 year life. It was unlike any of the stews his portress prepared, and he had to wonder with a growing frown if this place was a bit too refined for a man of his station. He might have continued examining it if he was not so fascinated by Carden's skin-deep mood swings.

While the waitress hung around, Carden behaved like he was the life of the party, all smiles and suggestive grins. Very unlike the overtly compassionate and more sensitive creature that spoke frankly to him. It was quite a nice imitation of confidence, one that might have had him convinced of his authenticity if he were not watching so closely.

"Just a schoolboy, indeed," intoned Javert the moment the waitress stepped away. It was half-a-question, ending the phrase with a mild interrogative lilt. "I might have pegged you for an actor, with the way you put on your airs."

Not the neatest diversion, but the less the sting of his police career came up, the better. Javert's gaping wounds were still too fresh to discuss deeply.
Edited 2019-10-02 03:05 (UTC)
wildphase: (pic#13403586)

[personal profile] wildphase 2019-10-02 12:09 pm (UTC)(link)
"That's a long time. I... have to admit I'm a little jealous at that kind of stability. That's something I'm not likely to get to have, not here and not back home. I miss it, and I only had it a little while..."

He's happy to leave that specific conversation route behind, though the new one is really no better, too close to the first,

"I've had to be a lot of different things. You get used to it," he shrugs. He doesn't know how to talk about the more supernatural side of that, the things he's learned only recently about why he might be good at being someone else, that there's a physical component to that, that he's connected to a legacy that includes a heavy shape-shifting component. The more human side, however, is probably better anyway and he's more used to sharing pieces of it, though it never gets easier.

"My old school is hunting me," he adds, after a moment, "I'm fairly sure if they find me, they'll kill me. I've been on the run for almost four years now. You get... used to it, I guess. Just showing people what you want them to see. It's easy when that's all people want from you anyway. It's all the other stuff that's hard."
inseine: the fuck is this (pic#13448617)

[personal profile] inseine 2019-10-03 05:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Javert had a forkful of pasta in his mouth (quite generously sauced; he would have been perfectly satisfied with just a hunk of bread) when Carden revealed that little nugget.

He carefully set his empty fork down and stared at Carden. Hard. Evidently he was having some difficulty putting these fragmented pieces together and reconciling the congenial, generous young man in front of him with the bits and pieces of the place he came from. Carden's home sounded like a befuddling place.

"I have never heard of a school that hunts its errant students like convicts."
wildphase: (pic#13403586)

[personal profile] wildphase 2019-10-03 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
"Convicts?" he shakes his head, "No, if it were just a matter of going to prison, I think I'd probably already be there. I don't deserve anything better. But I don't think I deserve whatever they might do to me, either," he says it to his pasta, wilting a little bit under Javert's piercing stare.

"They were hurting children," he says, after a moment, "I was hurting children. When I found out what was really happening I... took exception to the lies I'd been told and I..." killed everyone apparently, but I don't remember doing it or how I did it... "... made sure they wouldn't hurt any more children. There's still people back at the school. There's still people out there doing what I was doing, not knowing... or maybe they do all know, maybe I was the only one naive enough to not understand..." he pushes some of the pasta around on his plate,

"God... this never gets easier. Maybe it shouldn't." He finally looks back up, "Look, I'm... not a good person, I know that. But I'm trying. I don't know what else to do. And now I'm here. And I'd say this is maybe what I deserve, after all, the things that have happened to me here, the bad ones, I mean, except there's people here who don't deserve it, too so... fuck if I know," he finishes with a shrug, "I just get up in the morning."