duplicitymemes | TDM #17

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«tdm

TDM #17

« « « TEST DRIVE MEME » » »

« « « ALL ON DISPLAY

It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. Yet, solace is found in the lies we tell each other, comforted by the peace of knowing that we're not alone in our depravity, and once on this path, sin itself becomes the lesser of two evils masked in a cloud of normalcy.

This is how Duplicity has functioned since the beginning. The divide of power and social standing is overt in that Dominants influence the decisions made both publicly and privately while Submissives cater to the rules presented to them. It is the way of Duplicity to assign random designations at birth with no leeway in altering what has been given. Climate in the Up is far stricter than that of the Down; violating outlined personas for a Dominant or Submissive while in full view of others is punished by degree of infraction. In the Down, many tend to turn a blind eye to these sorts of offenses.

To counteract the discovery of the Deceit Gene – a natural "negative" response to all stimuli – the L.I.E.S. program was founded. The program had been designed to introduce new subjects to the current environment and test for the Deceit Gene through immersion in Duplicity's standing society. Sexual impulses and encounters increase the chances of detecting the gene within these individuals. Participants are typically released from L.I.E.S. after a year; however, results have remained unsatisfactory and testing still continues.

... and you're here! Finally! Welcome to Duplicity.

After choosing a door and stepping through to the other side, the first thing that greets you are the enthusiastic faces of people in medical scrubs and pristine lab coats. Their enthusiasm translates to eagerness as they strip you of your clothes to perform a thorough examination—you will be healed, bathed, and given a clear plastic top and pants along with clear plastic boots to wear until your items can be processed and delivered to your residence later in the evening. You are also given a device that accesses the network as well as the time and location of orientation.

If you enter Duplicity into the Up, congratulations! You're a Dominant, which means you are immediately picked up by a limo after processing and taken to your high rise. Here, it is two Dominants per floor with separate apartments. If you enter Duplicity into the Down, congratulations! You're a Submissive, which means you are directed towards public transportation with the address of the motel you'll be living in. Here, it is two Submissives per room with a shared common space for all rooms.

Enjoy your free time until orientation! Participation is mandatory by all new and old arrivals.

The weather is rather wet and rainy. Very, very rainy.

» » » ALL ABOARD

It's time for the monthly Duplicity train tour. Seats are in pairs and randomly assigned to Dominants and Submissives alike. Traveling from Fiddler's Square, the train journeys through various parts of the Up, showcasing society and examples of lifestyle. Along the way, frequent stops are made; a variety of passengers can be seen exiting and entering the doors. A Dominant with a kneeling Submissive takes a seat near the front of the train at one stop. A small group of Submissives board and sit closer to the LIERS at another, all seemingly content in their roles. As the tour continues through the Up, the train passes close to the Market and White Wall Bridge and zips by North Park before heading into the Down and bypassing Red Wall Bridge and South Park.

The train makes a "final" stop at Riddler's Square, where inhabitants of the Down are instructed to return to their temporary housing. Those who live in the Up are permitted to stay on the train and revisit the same locations while returning.

« « « RAIN RAIN GO AWAY

(cw: aphro, dub-con, violence, marking)

Ice and chilly weather have begun to give way to rain instead, with overcast skies and dark clouds a seemingly constant sight. While the overabundance of rain is an annoyance and comes with the usual series of problems, such as leaky ceilings, mold growth, and gutters or storm drains overflowing, this time the rain carries with it another problem altogether. A weather advisory warning is broadcast to every device, as well as on news networks and radio. The rain, at least for a few days, is not ordinary rain. Whether you're in the Up or the Down, when the water hits clothing it eats away at it. The more water it absorbs, the more the material disintegrates until the wearer is left naked.

When the rain comes in contact with skin (or is ingested) the effects seem to differ depending on where you are in Duplicity. In the Up, it's relatively harmless and merely has an aphrodisiac effect, leaving individuals feeling hot and bothered, more sociable and touchy feely.

Those in the Down, however, are not so lucky. As the rain seeps through the soil from the Up, it ends up laced with toxins, causing a range of less pleasant side effects for anyone unfortunate enough to come into contact with it. Aside from the aphrodisiac, those who get caught in the rain may develop an uncomfortable, itchy rash, leaving them looking rather spotty for a few days. Those who can't resist scratching at themselves will find a newfound pleasure to the relief it brings and start to crave the feeling or sight of similar marks. In worst case scenarios, individuals will become addicted to marking themselves and others, perhaps even to the point of breaking skin.

Effects may last for several hours after exposure and will stack with repeated exposures. In all cases, getting off will bring temporary relief but will not alleviate the symptoms entirely.

Plastic coverings seem to be unaffected by the rain and, as word spreads, the Natives in Duplicity form a mad rush buying up umbrellas. Unless a character is lucky, they may find themselves unable to purchase - or even borrow - one. Theft of umbrellas becomes widespread in the Down, often escalating to violence, and even the Up isn't safe from thugs trying to steal and resell this suddenly hot commodity.

There's another side to all of this, however. Due to the shortage of umbrellas, it isn't uncommon to see Dom/Sub pairs sharing umbrellas together. If anything, it's encouraged as a means to strengthen their bond. Enterprising Subs and Doms alike may even sell their "services" to escort individuals who would otherwise end up soaked.

« « « SUPPLEMENTAL INCOME

(cw: substance abuse, altered states, coercion, fluids, physical body changes)

A new "holistic" pharma company named SQuIRT is opening up in Duplicity and is paying a pretty penny for people to trial run their new line of supplements. These supplements are supposed to increase a person's vitality and energy levels, but the side effects are what the company is really looking out for.

Some of the side effects aren't so bad and could include:

Prolonged erections
Lactation in both men and women
Size enlargement of breasts or genitals
Copious amounts of ejaculate or sexual fluids
Sudden interest in previously unexplored kinks

While others might find their own reaction to be a little more severe:

Shrinkage of breasts, genitals, or entire being
Inability to cum
Uncontrollable hair growth or hair loss
Temporary loss of one or more senses
Spontaneous weeping

Subjects must take the supplements for at least a week, otherwise they'll receive no compensation for their troubles. All new arrivals will find themselves automatically enrolled in these trials, whether they want to be or not, and expected to report to the clinic. Of course they don't have to take the supplements, but the payout is certainly enticing, especially for those unfortunate enough to be branded Submissives.

« « « STICKY FINGERS

(cw: violence)

Crime runs rampant in the Down as always but now, with the nastier side effects of the rain creating an ongoing problem, some unsavory types are sneaking their way into the Up where the effects aren't so hazardous.

The result is an uptick in crime in places that are usually considered safe. Be careful how you carry yourself - and your valuables. Those who look like easy pickings may find their pockets empty. Cameras in public areas are being vandalized as well, while homes and businesses are seeing a rise in graffiti. Most of the graffiti is merely obscene, but some is outright seditious. Good luck explaining the latter to the authorities if you happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

One of the smaller gangs that has a presence in the Down is taking particular advantage of the rain's disruption to expand their territory into the Up. Known as the Bulldogs, their members are young men and they have a reputation for violent muggings and assaults - mainly targeting Submissives. They loiter in groups near the train and the elevator between the Up and the Down to ambush the alone and unwary. At night, they also prey on those walking home from bars or clubs who may not fully have their wits about them.

In addition to beating up their victims for money, some of the Bulldogs are engaging in an informal competition over who can steal the most umbrellas - with bonus points awarded for whatever else they feel like. LIERs are worth double points by default, so watch out!

« « « MOD & OOC NOTES

Please read carefully.

On each Test Drive Meme, there will be a section noting character roles; these will vary each TDM. On an IC level, characters will still have gone through the doors but assignments OOCly are still randomized. When applying, there is a section of the application that denotes whether the character chooses "left" or "right". When participating on the TDM, there will be a third option. Players may link either a top level or a thread (five or more comments from their character) from the TDM and title the link as "Door Pass". This means that the player is choosing to take the designation that they were randomly assigned on the TDM, rather than taking the designation of a door. If the player decides to select a door rather than use the pass, then they are trying their luck; they may get the same designation they had on the TDM or the opposite. Once the application is submitted, players can't change their choice.

To assign roles to characters for this TDM, use the following guide:

Players can choose whether to assign their character as a Dominant or Submissive on this TDM for the Door Pass for March Applications only. For May's Application round, threads started here may be used as samples however they will not be eligible for a Door Pass in May. Characters will need to use a thread from May's TDM, using those Door Pass rules, for an application after the March round.

To Note: Characters can only swap their designation for one of the following reasons: an event occurs that allows it or there are OOC reasons that make it a necessity. Any swap always requires mod approval and each character can only ever switch once. Characters that are being reapped will keep their previous designation but players can choose to use new TDMs with different designations for fun!

THERE WILL BE NO APPLICATION ROUND IN APRIL

Please remember to mark any necessary content, and have a good time!!

» » » MAIN NAVIGATION « « «

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ No damage done, more of a startling than anything else, although she is in no real state to establish more distance between them with the wall at her back and him standing in front of her, a shift in nearness that becomes exceedingly more apparent when he looks back at her and his face is mere inches away from her own — and there, she becomes aware of exactly how close they are standing to one another, her gaze helplessly sweeping across the details of his features cast into stark relief for her before he averts his eyes and she draws in a subtle breath. ]

No, I'm alright, I assure you.

[ Her hands are still hovering out in front of herself, in the air now on either side of his sleeves, and upon realizing that she attempts to carefully pull them away without drawing any further attention to that near-miss — but with him standing so near to her, her voice drops to a lower murmur, and she has to temper the sudden impulse to try and meet his eyes with her own head-on, unflinchingly. ]

Though... perhaps I should know the name of the man who has made quite a memorable introduction?

I'm glad. [ it's fine, but he still feels quite ridiculous. dizzy too, somehow. it must be the rain that's making the air around them so heavy. at least he's finally managed to close the umbrella. it was a proper struggle. ]

After such an introduction I'm almost tempted to give out a false name.

[ his self-deprecating tone isn't enough to distract from his voice dropping to a murmur too. he notices her hovering hands from the corner of his eye, but instead he turns his attention to her face. it's an open stare, perhaps too direct. she's a beautiful woman and this is the best look that he got at her. ]

But I shan't. [ he hands the umbrella back to her, holding it by the middle as if to avoid his hand brushing against hers. ] It's Victor Lascelles.

You certainly could. It isn't as if I would be any the wiser.

[ But part of her is hoping he won't, that if she leaves here with little more than a finicky umbrella and a borrowed shirt several sizes too large for her frame, she will have the advantage of a name as well.

It does seem, in that moment, that her eyes rise to meet his almost at the exact same time, and she realizes that she has been drawn in by the study in his gaze, that mutual connection kept and held for several beats before she glances down to what he holds out between them. ]

Oh. Thank you.

[ She reaches out to take it from him, fingers closing around the dampened fabric, temporarily heedless of what could occur by the rain coming into direct contact with her skin. ] Well, it is... a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Lascelles. My name is Vanessa Ives. [ Her eyes rise to his face again, politeness emerging in her tone again. ] Are you new to Duplicity?

[ his empty hand hovers in the air for a second before he draws it back to himself. he's still got the remaining t-shirts tucked under his other arm, but by now several half-naked people have passed them by and gone ignored. ]

How do you do?

[ a shadow casts over his features when she reminds him of the situation. he would have been happy to have stayed lost in her eyes instead. ]

You must be psychic. I haven't been here long. [ he shakes his head lightly. ] Please forgive me if I don't offer compliments on your hometown, I'm still quite shaken from my arrival. [ he dreaded to think that he wasn't the only one who had to go through that nightmare. was it truly the same for everyone here? ]

I suppose I have been a bit more improved than this. Not the way I would intend to make a first impression, although it could certainly always be much worse.

[ She is attempting to have some sense of levity about it, after all, as the truth remains that she has been in worse predicaments than the one she is in now and with people much less considerate of the state she has ended up in. ]

More like... perceptive, though I do know many faces in this city, if not every name that goes with them. And now I have yours, which gives you an advantage over some. [ She frowns lightly, understanding in her gaze, and the compulsion to reach out to him is there, to offer some semblance of comfort or compassion in the moment. To let him know he is far from alone. ]

I bear no loyalty to this place. London is where I came from, where I was last before I was taken. Quite a few years prior to others here, so it has been something of an adjustment on that front as well.

[ he shakes his head slightly as if to disagree. she shouldn't worry about the first impression at all, he's quite taken with her already. he's happy to have given her his name. ]

I cannot blame you for that, it is the most unusual place.

[ to put it kindly! but he'd rather not dwell on it. certainly the city will reveal more of its dark secrets to him when the time comes. he's not looking forward to it. ]

Oh, but I know London. Very well, in fact, since I come from Portsmouth. You must tell me all about it. [ he sounds relieved. finally something familiar, something he understands. he's also had to adjust to a different time, even before he came here, but he doesn't know how he'd begin to explain any of that. ] But I can't let you do that while your dress is in that state, we should get your somewhere warm first.

Unusual, yes. In more ways than merely the obvious.

[ And that is a particularly generous descriptor, although she doesn't think she needs to tell him that; he's been here long enough to pick up on quite a few important details, including the need to find clever means of circumventing this dissolving rain. Not everyone would be so enterprising, or so generous in assisting others, and that prompts her to look at him more intently, gaze lingering on his face while he speaks. ]

Do you. [ More of a delighted rhetorical, to know someone else who is more familiar, although she feels rather a bit flushed now for reasons she can't entirely grasp at the moment, instinctively swaying forward into his space until she realizes what he's said and glances down at herself. ]

Oh, yes, of course, I should... well, truly, I don't live very far from here, though I suppose we might have to cram together under a rather unreliable umbrella.

[ he's terribly conscious of her eyes on him and the close proximity between the two of them. did he imagine her inching even closer or just hoped that she did? it's far from unpleasant, but he's filled with dreadful anticipation which he hasn't felt for a very long time. it's probably what pushed him to make such a forward suggestion too. he doesn't give himself the time to regret it. ]

Please don't worry about it, I'll carry the umbrella over us while you lead the way. I've still got my coat, see? [ he knows it won't stand a chance against the rain, but it's his role as a gentleman to offer. ]

I do hope it will not attempt to close in on us and trap us like a carnivorous plant would do to a couple of flies. [ he comments, throwing a suspicious look at the sleeping beast vanessa is holding. it'd be rather inconvenient to be trapped under the umbrella with a lady who's struggling to cover herself. ]

[ In any other instance, she might even be more aware of what's affecting her, the reactions faintly similar to any number of the other times she's found herself influenced by something absorbing into her skin, or inadvertently inhaled or consumed; it is fainter, this time, the briefest exposure to the rain, but the longer it lingers in her system the harder it will be to deny what's happening. ]

I hope it knows its potential sacrifice will not be in vain.

[ She glances down to the rather traitorous umbrella in her grasp now, turning it in her hands and then venturing a press of the button to let it spring open to one side, the drops that still cling to it spraying outward before she lifts it up over her head and steps in towards him. ]

Shall we?

Hold on. [ he quickly excuses himself as he goes to set the pile of shirts he had left somewhere where desperate people can find them. they would only go to waste if he's taking them with himself. her house must have towels, she seems like the type to run a functioning household. ]

There we go, I hope they'll serve whoever finds them. [ he returns to her side happily, perhaps more eagerly than he'd care to admit, as he steps under the umbrella and offers her his arm. ]

Should we make it fast? [ concerned, he peers at the rain ahead of them. unfortunately it doesn't seem to have quieted down while they talked. his other shoulder is definitely going to get wet. ] I'd hate to tell you to run, but...

[ By the time he returns to her side, she has carefully taken stock of what layers still remain on her person; the dress itself is ruined, unmistakably, by the shirt she has on will cover most of it until they get to where they're going, although even with how close they're tucked in beneath the umbrella it will get damp no matter what.

Perhaps they will make it to the house by then, although she peers out from underneath the umbrella's cover to investigate the storm when he does, brow furrowing with concern. ]

No, you may be right. [ She can maintain a grip on her dress at least, leaning down to gather her skirt up in one hand so that she does not risk tripping on the hem, and her boots are durable enough to survive the rain at least until they take on more water — then, she thinks, she might end up making the last stretch of it on bare feet. ] Shall we charge into the thick of it?

[ unfortunately the puddles mean that casualties cannot be avoided. ]

Only if you're absolutely sure.

[ frankly she seems more composed than he is, so he takes a deep breath, braving himself before they rush into the battle against the steamy raindrops. who knows - it could be fun? running through a strange city with a woman he barely knows, both of them in danger of losing their clothes if they aren't quick enough. it almost sounds like a silly game.

almost.

he takes the umbrella from her while vanessa readies her dress for the run. once she's done, he grabs her hand in his own and looks her in the eyes for one last time. he's ready. kind of. ]

We should be glad it's not fog.

[ and with that they dash off like they were a couple of kids late for tea. ]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained?

[ She may not know why she is suddenly compelled to hold her breath as if they are stepping off a precipice into the unknown, even if she knows where they are going to lead them there — but she does before her exhale inevitably spills out of her in a gasp once they're out in the midst of the downpour.

Somewhere along the way, his hand clutched tightly in her own, she can feel the leather of her boots begin to melt away from puddles that are unavoidably tracked through, and inevitably she does not even need to hold up her dress anymore, the hem rising as it grows damp — and yet somehow she is laughing, soft and breathless, giddy on impulse and adrenaline, right up until they take the steps up to the front door and she can find the key in her pockets to let them into the dry interior.

Then and only then does she lower the umbrella to the floor almost heedlessly to look at him, a pink flush in her cheeks, expression lifted with the width of her smile, her laugh, to take stock of his current state. ]

I don't believe we've made it through unscathed.

[ luckily, her laughter is infectious and it's what makes the short journey a happy adventure when it could have easily been that nightmare where you forget to wear your clothes in public. the speed at which he can feel his clothes and shoes dissolving is alarming, but they're going so fast he doesn't have the time to stop and think. the surroundings remain a blur, he's only paying attention to the hand in his own.

he follows her in and slams the door shut after them to signal at the rain to keep out. he's a little bit out of breath, but it's not because of the exercise. his dark curls are out of control, shoes pretty much gone along with the left sleeve of his coat and shirt. ]

We ran like something chased us, didn't we? [ he may come to regret the decision later, but while the adrenaline is still rushing through him he's pleased with himself to have braved the rain like that. he's not even flustered to face her in their current state - there's something electrifying in the air, making him more daring than usual. inspecting her house can wait, he's only got eyes for her. ]

It would have been much worse without the umbrella. [ which thankfully held together. ]

[ There is no real opportunity for her to acknowledge or mourn the loss of certain articles of clothing along the way, for something about this calls back instantly to those times when she was a young girl, daring and heedless of inadvertently getting the hem of her dress wet as she and her childhood friend Mina splashed through puddles together. Once she lets herself experience the freedom of it, the run is short and bearable, especially with the security of a hand grasped tight in her own.

Inside the darkened interior of the house — for she has not moved to turn on any of the lights yet — she can hear the rain beating relentlessly against the windows, falling in sheets, and he is silhouetted even in the shadows, as she listens to her own light pants of breath, to his. Her own dress has dissolved midway up her legs, the sheer fabric of her stockings beneath clinging to her calves in mere strips, and her gaze drifts over his face, seemingly more daring now that they are secluded together, tucked away in a dry, warm space. ]

Yes, I shudder to think what sort of state we would have been left in without it. [ Her voice has dropped, low and still sounding as though she is trying to slow her breaths, and the umbrella in question slips from her grasp to fall to the floor, spinning like a top before listing to one side.

On sudden impulse, she reaches up to sweep fingers against a few curls straying across his forehead, nudging them back with all of the rest. For a moment it is silent between them, save the rain. ]

[ the sound of the umbrella hitting the floor gets no reaction from him. he's frozen in place, his entire focus on her.

his breathing feels heavy and the laughter gets stuck in his throat the moment he feels the brush of the tips of her fingers on his forehead. it's a sweet gesture, innocent even, but he's studying her expression carefully, suddenly hopeful for a hint of more. even with the pink flush on her cheeks her skin glows against the dark background, making the mark on her neck stand out. he tries not to look at it.

a clock is ticking somewhere in the house and he's conscious of how time seems to have slowed down altogether. it's just his imagination, but this is like some sort of a magic spell he's under. he's dizzy and his chest feels tight and he can't draw his eyes away from her.

his lips part slightly as he draws in a breath, hoping it doesn't sound as shaky to her as it did to his own ears. then, almost by itself, his hand reaches to touch her dress below her waist as if he was curious to see whether the remaining fabric would dissolve when touched. it doesn't. without the umbrella the situation would have been different.

there's a question in his eyes even though he wants to hide it. ]

[ It does seem, however unexpectedly, that the very concept of time has changed all around them, each second holding more weight the longer they stand before one another unmoving, and although she is the first one to break the stillness with a gesture that surprises even herself, it still feels as though they are standing on a precipice, questioning whether or not to jump into the unknown.

It takes her an additional beat to realize that, even as his hand alights to settle against the remaining folds of her dress, above the round of her hip, her own has dropped from that wayward curl of hair to settle against his shoulder, the one that no longer wears a sleeve of either his coat or the shirt beneath — and it means she has skin beneath her fingertips again, as her touch descends along the length of his bare arm, bicep to the inward curve of an elbow to forearm.

Wordlessly, slowly, she collects his hand in hers and guides it to her waist on the other side, assent there in that gesture but also in the manner in which her gaze ultimately lifts to find his again — the answer to the question he poses all without voicing a single sentiment.

Then again, it may be confirmed even further when she steps forward, the movement almost silent on bare feet, and they are close enough for her to feel the heat of his breath against her skin, across the shape of her mouth; there is a piece of her that almost desires to prolong it, this sudden and sweet anticipation between them, even if the water that has now absorbed into her skin, her hair has prompted a flush in her cheeks, a quickening in her breathing. ]

[ the touch on his bare skin makes the hairs on his arm stand and up and he shivers, but hopefully not visibly. the touch feels more daring than it should, even considering the norms he grew up with. apparently the rain made him quite sensitive - his brain slowly rationalizes somewhere in the background before suddenly stopping functioning altogether.

because she's closed the short distanced between them, she's so close he would only have to step in and he could slip his knee between her legs; her almost bare legs, press his body against hers and...

his heart is beating so fast he doesn't know what to do, how to continue drawing in air without breathing in her scent. his fingers press against the fabric on her waist, eager to pull her in so there's no more chance to hesitate, but suddenly he gasps sharply, stopping himself short. ]

--No, I couldn't, I'm sorry. [ he hardly knows her, this is her home and he's about to make a big mistake. he shouldn't have imposed himself on her like this, it was indecent from the start. his hands curl into fists by her waist like his own body fought against the idea of backing down. ]

[ This close to him, she has no choice but to be completely consumed by his presence, his heat, the rising awareness of what little distance remains between them now and how simple it would be to sink into one another, to feel him against her for the first time. And yet she does not move, as if wanting to preserve this moment specifically, the moment before learning what his kiss tastes like, what noises he might make when he finally buries himself in her body.

She wants it all, desperately, suddenly more than she has ever wanted anything else, and when his hands tighten their hold on her waist she thinks this, this will be the moment. Her hand alights to his cheek while she inclines her head to bring their mouths together — and then the sharp indraw of his breath prompts her to stop too, just short of consummating. ]

Couldn't you? [ She exhales it, arousal heavy on her lips and yearning; confronted now with the possibility of having to stop, her body instantaneously wars with her mind, leaving her dangling in a place somewhere between the two, and yet she knows if she proceeded now, ignoring his wishes, she would never truly be able to forgive herself. It does not make the manner in which she burns for his touch less obvious, though, especially since she cannot bring herself to withdraw from his embrace right away. ]

This isn't how I... typically behave at first meeting, I assure you. [ She tilts back until she can meet his gaze again, a soft furrow between her brows. ] Whether you choose to continue or stop now, however, I can — I will — respect your wishes.

[ he worries about hurting her feelings, worries about pretending being someone he isn't - she doesn't know the truth about him, so it would be unacceptable to take this any further even if his body is practically aching to push her against the wall and rip the remaining fabric off of her. would she even want him to do that if she learned the truth? ]

No, that's not it. That's not it at all. [ he's quick to assure her, the strain in his voice real. she's been amazing, it was he who invited himself in here. if anyone was to blame for this situation, it would be him. ]

I wish I could, I wish it so much, but I cannot. [ he doesn't have enough blood left in his brain to explain it any better, so he can only hope that she senses the desperation him. his hands remain on her waist and he's staring at her mouth - he's fully aware that he's sending all the wrong signals, but he can't help himself. his voice is barely a whisper. ] Can you forgive me?

[ Her first thought is that perhaps he does not want to initiate any more between them while they are both so affected, and that she can understand, having been so intensely in the grip of something beyond her control — and while she does not know if the effects of the rain will get any worse, right now he is still retaining enough of his self-control to act against his baser nature. ]

Of course. [ She shakes her head quietly, almost imperceptibly, the worry there overriding any of her other feelings, anywhere her attention might be torn in focus by his touch or the way his voice has softened while they are standing so close to one another. Still, she recognizes that she cannot simply send him out into the rain with the inadequate cover of that umbrella or nothing at all, for that would be something she wouldn't be able to forgive herself for as well. ]

I'm afraid if I don't... take steps to rectify the situation personally, the effects may worsen. [ She will not dismiss him now, but if they cannot proceed together, she will have to see to herself by other methods, and with a strength of will that surprises even her she pulls herself free from his hold, walking backward by a few paces until she meets the foyer wall; one of her hands secures purchase in what remains of her skirt, clenching a fisted grip in the ruined material. ] I suggest you do the same.

[ Her gaze finds his, the implication heavy; he may not be able to touch her, or she him, but there are ways around that. ]

[ it's a relief to hear her say that. he was so afraid that she'd say nothing at all and give him a chance to take back his words. he knows there'd need to be only a fraction of hope to continue and his resolution to stop would immediately turn to dust.

when she suddenly frees herself of his hold he has half a mind to go after her and for a moment it really seems like he would, his hands grab at air before he draws them back to himself and presses the fists against his sides. he can't help looking like she just slapped him in the face even though she did precisely what he begged of her. it's terrible. ]

I... [ he turns a shade darker, unable to form words for a second, but his eyes stay on her. she'd only need to look a little lower to see what an effect her proximity had on him and now those words. relieving himself after all of this was going to happen without question but he never thought that-- ] Not in the same room. Please. [ his voice cracks and his direct words surprise even himself, but she went there first and he had to get it out there somehow. he wouldn't be able to restrain himself if she was in his view. just standing back now takes everything he has. ]

[ The shadows, fortunately, are on his side in this instance; backlit by the windows as he is, she can only see so much of his body from where she stands, most of him displayed to her in profile rather than anything specifically she can glean with her gaze. Still, there comes a moment when he reaches for her before thinking better of it and she is tempted, so very tempted, to let him catch her, to let his fingers tangle in the remnants of her skirts and draw her back into his embrace, to let her mouth find his with a fevered urgency, and —

— she draws in a breath, soft and shuddering, and glances away from him before the temptation becomes too great for her to bear. Part of her is aware that this is the rain now, so much moisture having seeped into her skin that her entire body feels flushed as though with fever, and she can discern a telling ache between her legs, something that she knows will become more intolerable by the minute until she takes care of the problem. ]

Of course, you should... I can show you to the guest room. [ It is upstairs, although climbing the set behind her now feels like a unique feat in and of itself, and she shifts to move by him, collecting herself as much as she is able; instinctively, she reaches to grasp her skirt before realizing her hem has been reduced to tatters, no risk for her to tread on now in bare feet as she begins to ascend by a few steps before waiting for him to follow. She attempts to keep her voice level as well, though there is a breathless quality to it, as though she has been overly exerting herself, and she has to reach out to brace a hand against the banister, momentarily steadying herself. ] You may... stay until the storm passes, if you like.

[ would shutting his eyes make it easier to endure as she moves past him, out of reach? he wants to, but his body doesn't listen to him, he can only make himself stand still and breathe, stare at her like he was a poor man in some fairy tale, turned into stone by a curse, nothing more. staying still is no small accomplishment, however, when the sorry state of her dress is revealed to him. until now he'd been too close to her to properly realize how the fabric barely covered her legs. on the stairs she's on display like she was standing on a pedestal, unattainable yet irresistible. the light coming from the window highlights her figure, draws attention to the roundness of her calves. she'd feel so soft under his palms.

suddenly he steps forward like he was about to climb the stairs and catch up with her, but instead he jerks to an abrupt stop and grabs a hold of the knob of the banister at the bottom of the stairs.

his fingers curl around the wooden knob like he was trying to crush it, but his eyes are fixed on her. he's breathing heavily. speaking is a struggle, but he means every word. ]

I won't disturb you, I promise.

[ The exposing state of her dress is one even she is not fully aware of until she moves, until she feels the air ghosting across her legs, sections of her stockings having dissolved away altogether after splashing through those puddles with his hand clutched tight in her own. When another wave of need passes over her, prompting her to throw a hand out for necessary leverage, she isn't certain she can continue immediately, frozen on the steps like a statue on display — perhaps yes, even on a pedestal if she had the wherewithal to hold a similar thought in her head at this moment.

Her heart pounds in her chest so firmly that she can hear the echo of it in her ears, almost loud enough to block out the distant fall of rain, and she is surprised he cannot hear it too, that constant thudding that quickens in spite of her attempts to remain calm. ]

And if I told you you were permitted?

[ She does not turn around to face him, fingers curving an imperceptible degree against the wood of the railing, as if one look from him will prove to be the undoing of the final shreds of whatever self-control she has within her. For the moment, all is silence between them again, but she can almost hear his breaths as closely as if they were in her ear, and she imagines him there now, pressed against her, vivid and palpable and close enough to touch and be touched in her mind's eye. ]

TDM #17

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